00:01:16.183 –> 00:01:26.592 So when it came out, after three days … In German. So the book came out in German. After three days, I got a fax from Phyllis.
00:01:27.650 –> 00:01:32.149 Not very nice. If you want to see it, I have it here.
00:01:34.874 –> 00:01:42.108 My publisher got one. Walter Lübeck, who wrote an introduction to the book, he got one.
00:01:43.267 –> 00:01:53.767 Kind of threatening me and the publisher to take it off the market unless you’re prepared for legal stuff.
00:01:54.000 –> 00:02:03.508 And I’m looking at it and going like, ‚What the hell? What is it?‘ Now we finally have something that we can work with.
00:02:03.508 –> 00:02:14.071 We have the memorial. We have found some people who are in Usui sensei’s direct lineage. This is great, it’s a great beginning!
00:02:47.925 –> 00:02:55.542 One time when Phyllis was asked in person by a friend of mine what to do with my books, she said, ‚Burn them.‘
00:02:55.625 –> 00:03:03.150 That was in Germany. It didn’t go down well because people had a bad reference to that.
00:03:06.617 –> 00:03:16.000 You can’t believe the things that happened. They tried to buy the whole first edition of the ‚Reiki Fire‘.
00:03:16.000 –> 00:03:23.558 And then pressure the publisher into not publishing another one, but the publisher was not playing this game.
00:06:02.722 –> 00:06:15.000 Maybe the viewers today, they don’t realize this was a time when the Reiki Alliance, or what one might call Western Reiki,
00:06:15.000 –> 00:06:18.883 because it wasn’t just the Reiki Alliance, it was many more people,
00:06:19.000 –> 00:06:27.942 the Western Reiki was the dominant Reiki in the world. And of course, and I belonged also to that world, I still do.
00:06:29.492 –> 00:06:39.833 At that time, we were all … not just ‚indoctrinated‘, because I don’t think anyone purposely consciously indoctrinated us,
00:06:41.058 –> 00:06:50.700 but we had a mind-set where we believed certain things, and clearly you started, we felt that your publication violated that.
00:08:34.783 –> 00:08:41.308 And, my question really is, you came from a Western Reiki. You knew all that. And you must…
00:08:41.308 –> 00:08:45.708 The same. Absolutely the same. But I…
00:08:48.500 –> 00:08:59.153 I liked it when you said, ‚Ah, we were… I was conditioned in a certain way and indoctrinated and … you broke that.‘
00:08:59.153 –> 00:09:02.258 Yes, I broke that and I would do it again every time.
00:09:02.758 –> 00:09:03.675 Thank you for that.
00:09:03.675 –> 00:09:11.867 You need somebody to shake you up when you’re in that slumber, you know? And that happened to be me.
00:09:11.950 –> 00:09:23.931 It’s not because I’m great. I just stumbled into that. I tried to escape so many times. I tried to… say, ‚Okay, I’m getting out.‘
00:09:50.110 –> 00:09:54.792 I couldn’t escape. It had me hooked.
00:09:58.875 –> 00:10:06.179 So it was an interesting, really an interesting situation. Suddenly I find myself in conflict on a personal level.
00:10:06.254 –> 00:10:11.205 It was something new for me not to back off, but to just stand up.
00:10:11.596 –> 00:10:16.417 And say, ‚No, I’m not moving. I’m standing here. This is my truth. Now I’m standing here.‘
00:10:16.492 –> 00:10:28.000 Okay, maybe some people found that egoistic. I don’t know, I suppose. But for me it was maybe a childhood …
00:10:28.775 –> 00:10:35.803 working through my childhood issues of not facing, never facing conflict and always escaping.
00:11:30.825 –> 00:11:41.093 I think that the healing is very difficult, reconciliation is very difficult, if a victim doesn’t accept the fact that in that(!) incident
00:11:41.243 –> 00:11:48.779 I was being victimized, there was injustice done to me, my father beat me or did worse.
00:11:49.629 –> 00:11:57.000 And healing very often includes that first step. In fact, I call this the ‚heroism of the victim‘.
00:13:18.675 –> 00:13:26.008 So I felt of course that some injustice was done to me. I didn’t stop with the ‚Reiki Fire‘, I continued.
00:13:27.400 –> 00:13:39.544 It went on and on and on and on and on and on and on to the point where we had break-ins, where people’s houses were vandalized,
00:13:39.544 –> 00:13:46.758 where all the books that I had written for people, autographed, were stolen out of the house.
00:13:46.758 –> 00:13:50.182 I mean, things where you think, ‚That’s not possible!‘
00:13:51.291 –> 00:13:57.416 It’s amazing! It’s incredible. At some point we got threatening phone calls at home.
00:13:57.416 –> 00:14:05.225 My wife left the house when I was not home because she was afraid. It’s incredible what happened.
00:15:58.642 –> 00:16:01.774 So there were lots of strange things that happened.
00:16:01.774 –> 00:16:07.427 But what I really want to say is that I’ve had enough.
00:16:07.727 –> 00:16:09.845 I’ve had enough of the conflict.
00:16:10.170 –> 00:16:17.621 I had enough of the violence in different ways.
00:16:17.729 –> 00:16:21.208 I’ve had enough of feeling victimized.
00:16:22.058 –> 00:16:29.169 I’ve had enough of this constant friction.
00:16:29.519 –> 00:16:36.492 And I have no grudge to anybody. I just want to leave it behind.
00:16:37.175 –> 00:16:38.092 I’m …
00:16:38.192 –> 00:16:49.367 When I say I’ve had enough it’s like … I’m not … overwhelmed or so. It’s more like I’ve had enough like when you ate a really good meal.
00:16:49.592 –> 00:16:50.867 (laughs)
00:16:50.867 –> 00:16:55.169 And you don’t want to eat anymore. You know? That kind of enough.
00:16:55.169 –> 00:17:02.900 So I don’t feel traumatized or anything by any of that. I came through all of this a better human being.
00:17:03.425 –> 00:17:12.333 More loving, more kind, more in my center, you know? And that’s wonderful. I’m thankful and grateful for that.
00:17:13.442 –> 00:17:18.550 So whatever happened … (gassho) … thank you. It helped me a lot.
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17:13: potential end of MF?